Douglas Coupland (via bloodisthenewblackk)
(Source: venebelle)
Love is unconditional.
I guess the thing i’m afraid of the most is the kind of person that society will breed me into.
I don’t know if it’s due to my study of If We Dream Too Long or if I really do feel this way without influence, but really, all the feelings that Kwang Meng feels amplify my thoughts exactly, right now. The country is getting too overcrowded.. I can literally SEE it everyday. Not just Sundays. Mondays even. Just crowded everywhere. There’s no space at all. And everyone’s deadpan faces after work, before work, everywhere. All the mundanities of society all the materialism all the snobbish stares all the unfriendliness. I know this is home but I can’t identify with it at all. What is home?? Where I feel out of place? Driven by forces that are heading further and further from our values and roots. This high achieving country that’s always, always striving. Since Primary 1 I’ve been striving hard. Till now, at 20, still directionless and unmotivated. I’m walking in the crowded shopping centers, ion, somerset, bugis- all I see are stares and people too preoccupied with themselves. No sense of welcoming or friendliness. Everyone just too self indulgent to care too much. Just judgmental stares. So different from the friendly smiles I’ve experienced in any other country. Brings me back to my experience in Laos. That country is everything my country is not. So much space for anything, so much warmth and smiles. I felt a sense of belonging in a foreign country. A FOREIGN COUNTRY! Not this country, had, but a deteriorating sense now. It’s value diminishes as it advances. I don’t quite recognize it so much now.
I feel like everyone’s got a direction in mind and they’re all really on their way but I’m still stuck here with nothing in mind and nowhere to go. Whenever I think about it it scares me because I’m incredibly afraid of being left behind
